©
MeGreene
stuff i like, laugh at, and just plain old think of
About the author
I'm Meg. It's simple. You'll get it.
GUESTBREAKER: Your Vanity Muscles
Yes, it’s true that when I first laid eyes on you, it was your broad shoulders and rather large arms that drove me to drunkenly wave at you. It didn’t take long before I found out that your protein shakes give you intolerable gas and your post workout supplements cause impotence! You’d think for all of the suffering your bulging muscles have caused me you could have picked me up in the shower to fuck, or maybe even thrown me over your shoulders. Christ, carrying my luggage every once in awhile would have been nice! After all, you can bench press twice my weight. Alas no, you’re muscles are good for one thing and one thing only: luring unsuspecting woman into sexless, gassy relationships. While you were at the gym I should have been out looking for a man capable of having an intelligent conversation.
A Guest Dealbreaker written by Heather.
fuck mike “the situation” hes a DOUCHE!
The Runaways, directed by Floria Sigismondi
i hope kristen didnt fuck this up
oh god she probably did.
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady pictured above, sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?”
“I smoke ten cigars a day,” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don’t exercise at all.”
“That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?”“Forty-four,” she replied.
Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don’t shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You’ll just look like an idiot. FML
you see,i thought they jingled too. guess not…
just got back
just got back from jimmy’s. im not going to see him until the holidays are over. its going to be hell without him. not waking up to his lips, hearing his voice, him watching me pout as i roll out of bed, the touch of his hand, its kind of terrible the thought of being without him. i saw him not 20 minutes ago and im already going through withdrawal. what is this pleasurable pain?
Cross off stuff you've done.
Graduated High School.Kissed someone.Smoked cigarettes.Got so drunk you passed out.Rode every ride at an amusement park.Collected something really stupid.Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.Watched four movies in one night.Gone long periods of time with out sleep.Lied to someone.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.Taken a college level course.Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
Watched someone die.Been to a funeral.Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.Your parents got divorced.Cried yourself to sleep.Spent over $200 in one day.Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.Been sailing.
Cut yourself.Had a best friend.Lost someone you loved.Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.Had detention..
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do
Stolen books from the library.Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.Had a yard sale.And a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.Gone to sea world.
Attempted suicide.Voted for someone on a reality TV show.Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Wondered about your sexuality.Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery
Had stitches.Taken a taxi.Seen the Washington Monument.Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.
Had a hamster.
Petted a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Gone surfing in California.Did “spirit day” at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.Been on the Honor Roll.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.Taken pictures with a webcam.Started a fire.
Had a party while your parents weren’t home.
Gotten caught having a party while they were gone.
